How to Live a Life You Love

I’m on a quest to live my best life. I know it’s a trendy phrase but I like it. I like it because the emphasis is on designing a life that’s best for me, a life that I love.

I finally figured out that my life purpose isn’t to live someone else’s best life – not what my parents hoped for me, not what society thinks I should have, and not even what I used to think God wanted of me – it’s to live MY life, making use of the talents and interests I was born with. It also means taking full responsibility for designing my life, through my decisions and choices, in a way that is most fulfilling for me.

Earlier in my life, I made choices that made sense to my family, friends and the rest of the world – I went to college, got a job in advertising, worked my way up to Vice President, and became a successful marketing entrepreneur. Everyone in my life felt safer when I was on that path. It made sense to them. Heck, it even made sense to me …until it didn’t.

For the past six years, following the unexpected end of a 29-year marriage, my life choices have been very different, perplexing and even disconcerting to some. The end of my marriage was like the Death card showing up in a Tarot reading. My marriage died, one best life ended and a new one was about to commence – if I was open to the transformation.

The good news is that the second half of my life has been filled with lots of fun, exploration and self-discovery. I’ve welcomed discarded aspects of myself back like old friends, my intuition, dancing, and art. Other aspects of myself have been allowed to bloom and flourish such as my spirituality and reverence for nature. I’ve also allowed earlier interests to take center stage such as my fascination with all things metaphysical, personal growth and healing.

But if there is a cautionary tale here, it’s that carving a new best life is more like a quest then a travel destination, there were lots of hurdles and challenges along the way. There have been long periods of feeling like I’ve wandered way off track, not knowing where the hell the track is, and feeling like I’d never figure my life out again. I wanted to learn to ebb and flow with life more gracefully, but here I was throwing an inner tantrum with every bend in the river.

Then one day last month, as I was working my “Fields of Abundance” painting, I hit a spot in the painting process where everything felt like total mess. The painting didn’t seem to be coming together and I was afraid I was mucking it up beyond repair. Since it’s a phase I’d hit with quite a few previous paintings, I paused, put my paintbrush down, and reassured myself that I’d get through this one too. You see, painting has taught me to surrender my initial vision of the way I thought it should be to what the painting actually wants to become. When I surrender, the painting suddenly becomes something more and I give birth to what the painting wanted to become all along; a beautiful alchemy of both my vision and its.

Oh…. My…. God! Then it hits me. This is exactly the process my life has been going through, that messy in-between stage. The chrysalis phase, when the caterpillar is in the cocoon, breaking down and remaking itself into something more – a being that no longer crawls but flies!

No wonder it feels a little wild on the inside and looks even crazier on the outside. “What is she doing?” my friends and family wonder. “What the heck am I doing,” I’d think. This is because I am living my chrysalis in a transparent cocoon called “my life.” Not my best life yet but on my way to becoming my new best life.

For the caterpillar, chrysalis takes just five to ten days, for us humans it can takes weeks or even years. What helps me through it, is my intuition lighting up stepping stones along the way, and taking to heart what Rumi wrote eight centuries ago, “Respond to every call that excites your spirit.” It may look crazy to outside world, but answering every call that excites your spirit, and then the next call, and the next, no matter whether it feels like a side-trip, a diversion, or an expedition, will get you where you most want to be – living your brightest, boldest, best life ever.

Namaste,

CLASS: Would you like to explore the alchemy of creating YOUR best life? Join us for a little group exploration and support at my upcoming workshop, Discover the Alchemy to Your Ideal Life, February 4, 2019 from 6-8pm at Gateway Cottage Wellness Center, 470 N. State Route 89A, Sedona, Arizona 86336.

COACHING: Or, if you’d prefer one-on-one support to gain clarity and optimism schedule an Alchemy Coaching session.