My Journey Healing Food Addiction

It’s been a long journey healing the wounds behind food addiction … dozens of diets, years of counseling, lots of exercise programs, lap-band surgery in 2008 that worked for a few years and then failed, Whole30, Paleo,  and so on.

What I learned along the way is that it’s not about the food and …it’s about the food. Contradictory I know. But hear me out.

My experience has been, if you only focus on food you eventually gain all the weight back. I’ve lived this. I’ve lost and gained back hundreds of pounds over the years. In fact, I lost 75 lbs and gained it back – twice! Not to mention the dozens of times I lost and gained back smaller increments. For over twenty years, I never wore out my clothes because my weight fluctuated so much I always had to buy new or go back to larger lightly worn sizes.

In 2008, I had lap-band surgery and for a few years it worked. I lost 50lbs and wore the same size clothes for a couple of years. For me this was novel and exciting. Until the lap-band started to cause extreme acid reflex and we had to release the band. Then my weight shot back up and I was back into larger sizes. I was beyond discouraged.

The turning point in my journey was the day I tuned in to my intuition for the first time on this issue. It was February 2013, I was visiting my folks in Florida and enjoying one of my daily walks. More specifically, I was walking on East Indian River Boulevard heading to the walking path that follows along the intercoastal waterway in Edgewater. As I walked I turned my attention inward and asked my body, “Why can’t I lose weight and keep it off?” And, the word, “inflammation” very clearly floated into my awareness. 

Inflammation? What does that mean, I thought? My ankles weren’t swollen. I didn’t feel bloated. And, when I looked at my hands and arms I didn’t see any inflammation. I didn’t know what my intuition meant by “inflammation” but I was curious enough that when I got home I Googled it and learned,

“When your immune system shifts out of balance, inflammation can run rampant — causing a chronic, smoldering fire inside your body that contributes to disease and weight gain.”

Hmmm it sounded like I was onto something, so I kept reading…

“The causes of this type of inflammation are all around you.  The sugar you eat, high doses of the wrong oils and fats in your diet, hidden food allergens, lack of exercise, chronic stress, and hidden infections all trigger a raging, unseen inflammation deep in your cells and tissues.”

In researching inflammation, I stumbled across “anti-inflammatory” diets and that’s how I found Whole30. The first time I did Whole30 I lost 25 lbs. I believe my body responded so positively because, in addition to eating well, I also purged artificial sweeteners from my system. My body was relieved to be chemical free for the first time ever! Once I finished Whole30, I mostly ate Paleo and gluten-free. But eventually, I’d slide into allowing gluten free sweets, then regular sweets and eventually I’d gain 10 lbs. And so I had to do Whole30 a couple of times a year to keep my weight in check.

Earlier this year, I realized that I was tired of the weight fluctuation and even more tired of feeling like sweets were controlling me. And so I prayed, “Help me find a better way.” And within a week, I came across the book called Bright Line Eating by Susan Peirce Thompson, Ph.D. I learned that sugar is more addictive than cocaine and why will power doesn’t work. It’s basic premise borrows the “hard line” concept of zero alcohol and drugs from addiction programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. The author proposes four hard lines which she calls “Bright Lines:” zero sugar (no artificial or natural sweeteners), zero flour (no white, wheat, rice, almond flour, etc), three meals a day and measured portions.  Curious about how this really worked, I also joined a few Bright Line Facebook groups and was amazed to see lots of people not only losing weight but getting back to their ideal weight.

Since I don’t struggle with eating large portions, I decided to adopt just two of the bright lines: zero sugar and zero flour. After the first week of no sugar or flour products, I tuned into my body again, and was surprised to discover it felt really good …my body felt cleaner and lighter energetically. It felt like something was shifting energetically and my intuition seemed to be expanding even more. As the weeks progressed, anytime I thought about straying I just tuned into how good my body felt inside, and staying the course suddenly became easier and easier.  It sounds weird, but it actually feels like my body is saying “thank you” in a deeply grateful kind of way. 

I know this approach is too strict for most of my family and friends. They advocate other options or “eating in moderation.” I’ve healed enough emotionally that I do eat mostly healthy, but after thirty years of feeding my emotions with sweets things, I found I just can’t moderate sweets. If I take sugar and flour out of the picture, I have no problem moderating my food intake. If I allow a little sweets (a breakfast muffin, sweetened ice coffee, or bread for example), I eventually want a little more, then a little more, and a little more …until before I know it, 10 pounds have crept back on.

I think what finally happened is that I got tired of feeling like food is more powerful than me. By eliminating sugar and flour, I feel powerful and in control again. I’m calling the shots now, and it’s made me feel pretty damn good about myself!

For the first time ever, I went on vacation and lost 2 lbs without even trying! I wasn’t militant about it, I just had no desire to splurge, even on the travel days. It was amazing actually and way easier than I ever thought possible.

Some day I may go back to “eating in moderation” but only if and when I feel my body can handle intermittent doses of sweets without craving more. For me, drawing a Bright Line in the sand, eliminating sugar and flour, removes all the negotiating and the dozens of decisions I had to make throughout the day around food and should I or shouldn’t I. Now my choices are simpler, I can eat anything I want as long as I stay away from sugar & flour. And with this choice, I feel like the last bit of the addiction …the crutch that food has always been for me …is gracefully and blessedly fading away.

Resources to explore:

Bright Line Eating book, the book: https://www.amazon.com/Bright-Line-Eating-Science-Living/dp/1536656062

Bright Line Eating Website: https://brightlineeating.com/

Facebook Group Keeping Our Lines Bright: https://www.facebook.com/groups/keepingourlinesbright/

Whole30: https://whole30.com/

About the Author

Natalie Eve Marquis, CH, RMT
Natalie Eve Marquis is a Reiki Master Teacher, Master Hypnotist, professional intuitive and spiritual life coach. She offers heart-centered healing and coaching, helping people connect to their inner wisdom. Her unique Reiki Release® method helps you pinpoint and release the root causes of your energy blocks and self-sabotaging beliefs so you can heal, transform and live your best life ever! 

You can work with Natalie in person in the Amesbury, MA or by phone from anywhere in the world. Call/text (603) 642-4949.