The gentle wisdom of deer medicine

I couldn’t help but marvel at the synchronicity when I pulled the Deer Medicine card this morning. This animal, symbolizing gentleness, perfectly aligned with an article I had posted just yesterday titled “Art Making is a Gentle Teacher.” It seemed my higher self was emphasizing the importance of gentleness in my creative journey.

The Anxious Artist’s Journey

When I resumed painting a few years ago, the concept of gentle wisdom was foreign to me. I was consumed by an urgent desire to develop my style and improve my skills. My mind raced with questions and doubts:

• “What is my style?”

• “How do I get one?”

• “What if my style isn’t good enough?”

• “What do I need to learn, and from whom?”

• “Am I learning fast enough?”

• “Why am I not getting it?”

This anxious part of me, whom I call “Anxious Nelly,” had no room for gentleness in her vocabulary. She was more like a panicky bull in a china shop, frantically searching for answers and validation.

The voice of wisdom

Fortunately, there’s another part of me—a wiser, calmer presence I call “Knowing Nora.” She embodies the gentle wisdom I needed, assuring me that if I relax and enjoy the process, my style will naturally emerge. Nora’s wisdom has been reinforced by artist-teachers like Louise Fletcher and Nicholas Wilton, who emphasize that authentic self-expression in our art leads to both improvement and the development of a unique style.

The evolution of the artist’s mindset

Three years into my artistic journey, I’ve noticed a shift. Nora’s gentle approach has become more integrated into my creative process. Meanwhile, Anxious Nelly has evolved too. Her worries have shifted from finding my style to questioning whether I can sustain my artistic improvements.

This realization brought an unexpected insight: As I grow as an artist, my anxieties grow alongside me. Surprisingly, this isn’t discouraging. Instead, it serves as a measure of my artistic progress, with the focus of my fears indicating how far I’ve come.

The dance of anxiety and wisdom

While Anxious Nelly frets over new challenges, Knowing Nora remains a calm, gentle witness to my mental processes. She understands that continued creation, experimentation, and following my artistic joy will guide me more effectively than stress and striving ever could.

Embracing the journey

As I look to the future, I can imagine Anxious Nelly worrying about maintaining sales or tackling other advanced aspects of my artistic career. But I also see Knowing Nora, grinning and reminding me that we’ve navigated similar waters before.

The key to addressing all these inner concerns remains beautifully simple: follow the joy in my art-making. This gentle approach, embodied by the Deer Medicine, continues to guide me on my creative path, helping me grow not just as an artist, but as a more compassionate, self-aware individual.